It has been two years since I posted an update. I have not been recording during this time. Unsurprising that eventually, processing large files for small morsels would wear thin.
Finally, the batteries are recharged and I’m ready to once again, make acquaintance with my unconscious self. Just in time to get some recording in before the savage Australian heat sets in, robbing us all of a relatively quiet noise floor* as the long dormant beast-like white noise generator (pedestal fan) once again cometh alive, becoming the dominant force in the recording.
*If you count having to have low volume television on all night to ward off sleep paralysis / demon possession (depending on your perception of such phenomena) as “quiet”.
Many apologies for the stream of posts suggesting recording/posts were imminent. This is not true. I’m experiencing equipment difficulties that require cash to be thrown at the solution. Basically, due to bedroom / computer separation I need to have a (phantom powered) condenser connectected to a ~20m lead to the computer. Unfortunately, either the ebay lead I have is low quality (likely) or phantom power over that distance is not a good idea. Either way, I’m looking for either a (non powered) mic that can do the job (the pickup of most non powered mics would make them useless) or I’ll have to attempt another lead. If you have any suggestions, please post in the comments below.
Note: I have begun recording again. Unfortunately, the only thing I heard was “oh my god” which seems to be an exclamation regularly experienced. I feel I must deliver something original and since I’m not in control of this, I cannot guarantee timeframe (nor do you care).
At times, it’s a little embarrassing having a “blog”. Or two, in my case. That being said, there are several hidden benefits.
One particularly bonus, one that is probably more applicable to strange premised blogs is “incoming search terms”. That is, the search phrase that brought you to my particular corner of the internation.
Whilst I have not updated this blog in some time, it still gets residual hittage on some seriously strange subjects. This one takes some cake. Not all of it, but, gee, really?
What really disappoints me is the fact that truly, I don’t fulfill the terms of the search. Here we have some poor misguided individual, looking for help and I have failed to inform.
So, in event that you should return, my friend, or anybody else. On the subject of whether you should worry if your boyfriend is your brother…
FUCK NO. BANG ON!
I have moved house. This took several days to carry out and thus, definitively explains the lack of update.
Recording has its side benefits. Occasionally, it provides a post-mortem on other issues.
This morning, for instance:
Picture your loyal sleeper, dutifully onstage, dreaming his way through another wacky wonderland, when he decides to stretch out for a moment..
Unfortunately his “overclocked”* pedestal fan happens to be running quite hard and in the path of aforementioned stretch.
Bang!. Big toe slashed!
Of course, being the manly man I am, I wake up and merely stared at the throbbing big toe, waiting for it to finish bleeding before going back to sleep, making a mental note to try to preserve the blood until the morning, when I can proudly show off my warwound.
Naturally, I hit a couple of front double biceps poses (in case any ghosts were watching this undignified act) and retire back to what ever nonsense is currently being entertained in the cranial cavity.
Warning. Be nice to those speakers, this is uncompressed for recreation of the wonderful surprise it was to me.
* – By overclocked, I mean, no guard. Try it – they blow harder (ar ar).
Checked out the site this morning and it turns out that around 1600 visits have come my way today.
Hope you enjoy the foolishness.
Furthermore, if you talk, perhaps you might be enthused to record yourself. I guarantee you, there’s nothing quite like your own sleep talking. Many a morning I’ve found myself loudly cackling away at something that in reality, nobody but the performer could possibly fully appreciate.
(Some interesting comments on that page, unfortunately, it will cost me $5 to engage in that discussion and hence, I’m going to have to withdraw the enthusiasm. If anybody wishes to talk, post here and I’ll be sure to respond).
Oh, and finally, whoever came here via the search phrase “what to if you’ve only got a little bit of weed left“. Special shout out to you brother, taking it to the search engine. Sorry I couldn’t help. I really can’t, marijuana was not kind to me. However, I do have some commentary: Having known people who were quite adept at “what to do if you’ve only got burnt remnants of marijuana encrusted upon your smoking apparatus left“, I can assure you that the rabbit hole does go a tad bit deeper.
Do I need to see a sleep specialist?
Sleep talking is very common and tends to be harmless. If your talking is dramatic, emotional, or vulgar, then it may be a sign of another sleep disorder.
That is good advice, but I tend to disagree with the final point. Even in moments where I have discovered myself emotionally babbling dramatics (with lashings of vulgarity), I retain the sense that it is completely a function of experiencing a drugged state.
I can’t envision any link between voracity and other disorders. Unless, of course, you’re talking about the “Dr Sleep Specialist has to put food on his table” disorder.
If you talk and you don’t want to, all you can do is record yourself and try to pay attention to factors. I think it likely that there are very few people in this world who have any sort of expertise on this subject. Mostly, all you ever read is that it is a function of stress. I can tell you right now, for me, stress has nothing to do with it. My talking is as far as I can tell, absolutely random. There may be a psychological connection somewhere, that is true, but it is buried under so much stimulus it is doubtful I shall ever get a handle on it.
Not that I want to, of course. I’m far too entertained by the end result.
Fortunately the four recordings I did achieve this week (rest were equipment failures) appear to have yielded some result. Some real “manic panic” in this one. Not a whole lot of sense, but delivered in typically rabid variance that at the very least highly amuses me.
Sleeptalk – 23-30 January, 2009
- “Oh can you, just you, scranton, you’ll break it, bry things it’ll fall off it, we’ve got them in stock.”
- “Lubzen going and alsa things, screaming? *kiss sound*, the lubz are going, you’ve always got a chance.”
- “They heard the name”
- “Yeah right, look at that, walk around, bullshit”
Split into two files, “regular” sleep talk and a sounds and gibberish compilation. Great diversity in this stuff, perhaps to the point of being a little hard to believe this is all real (particularly the sounds and gibberish). For those of you thinking along those lines, try to remember that this is the interesting stuff culled from over 40 recordings.
Here we go.
Sleeptalking – “Regular” Pieces
- “Ohh yeah”
- “Here’s my theory about me being try cooler … “
- “Dophin. I’m sort of saying dolphin”
- “Ahhh his, no doubt about it”
- “Ah. Wha? HELLO!” *giggle*
- “The room thing? The room thing? the robot thing that you said? what? ahhh i see, ahh”
- “Ohhh… atleast over a hundred then, so probably close to, closer to 115 at least, ummm, 12?”
- (Start of a tune) “I’m doing it!”
- “Cheeky bastard, cheap bitch”
- “Oh macrony, you’re so rancid though, so crony, old crony”
- “The omelette, ohhhh ahhhhhh”
- “Fasssshion, is it just me or you … big titch? Shit, i can fuk her?” (English pronounciation at end?)
Sleeptalking – Sounds and Gibberish
Mostly self explanatory or hard to make out. At 0:53: “Did he fuuuukkk… ho ho hey”.
Since I’ve failed to post for quite some time I’m going to reveal exactly why. I doubt anybody gives a toss, really, however, I’m tired of posting “it’s coming” posts and need to beef this one up with facts. Do not discount the slackness factor in all of this, it still remains the underlying cause.
Each recording I make, for one night, is over 2 gigs in size. I record in fairly high quality, probably above what I should.
To process this file, I make changes to a copy of that file and use it as a guide to find audible sounds. I keep the original so I don’t have a wrecked recording (making filter changes to this point does infact wreck it).
So now, every night costs 4 gigs of working space.
Fast forward to 3 months of not processing the files and yes, that’s right, the total size of the files is up towards the 180 gig mark – and I haven’t even made that crucial copy to process them. So, inevitably, I got through a few and then the whole situation got out of control.
I knew it’d come down to buying another drive and that has occurred today. So, finally, I can say with some certainty that I now actually have the space to deal with all the recordings.
All this could have been saved by processing regularly. Hopefully there is some magic in them, as this generally reignites my enthusiasm.
The good news is that the traffic here actually stays the same no matter what I do. A dangerous thing to occur for a slacker such as myself.
I am still alive, I am still recording and I shall soon be posting. The files are piling up and this means that when I do do it, it is likely to be a considerable update. I have had to defensively put music on several times lately, when the demonic possession (or for those of us who are a bit more scientific: sleep paralysis) has hit. I hope this has not wrecked some recordings. It is necessary to do as for whatever reason, fake demons / erroneous brain activity is sent packing with a bit of sound. Maybe I’ll sent Satan off with a bit of spice girls tonight. What a twisted concept.
Who am I kidding? Lucifer probably wrote their lyrics.
The more ambient noise there is, the harder it is to zero in on sleep talking (ideally you only want the sounds of you talking being picked up by the mic). I’m sure if you’re a regular listener you’ve heard the birds crowing and so forth. Plenty of false positives. I can pick a fart no problems – I always seem to do three in a row.
I do post on my more regular domain but I don’t suggest you go there unless you’re particularly entertained by vulgar childishness, which is something I’m indulging myself in quite considerably, right now. You have been warned.
Update 4th January
I do appear to have been inaccurate with my timetable. Right now, the amount of recorded files is so large, I’m having trouble managing the size of them in order to not fill the drive whilst processing them. Working on it. Hope to get it done today, if possible, if only for the reason that I cannot record until they are done.
I mentioned in an earlier post of an impending smoking gun (after purchasing another microphone to record my brother’s talk). Unfortunately, yet again, I have exposed the punishment for buying cheap mics to do something that is more than a little out of the “sucking on a karaoke mic” or “screaming into a webcam” territory. You can’t really overestimate just how uncooperative a sleeper is. You have to have the mic gain on very high and on a cheap mic - this means the noise floor is so high you’ll never find a comment (if infact, one was made).
I proved this by simultaneously recording myself sleeping with both mics a few days ago. I used the knowledge of the exact time I talked (thanks, moderately priced condenser) to listen to what was recorded by el cheapo. Cheap Mic was nasty – a muddy little mutter at best. No good for discovering what was said.
Back to the drawing board.
Anyway, as promised, here are the latest recordings, late, as per usual. Separated into three files. Regular talking, manic gibberish and one oddity. By oddity, I mean, I have never, ever, heard myself snore, speak and then snore in the middle of speaking. It sounds incredibly irrational to snort at that point in time (it cannot be truly attributed to snoring) and I’m sure that if more people were listening I’d have detractors claiming I inserted it in there.
Sleeptalking – 04-22 October
- “Oh what the hell? Bottom quite fresh thing”
- “Ohhh Hilarious, hilarious etc
- “Yeah whatever, whatever your want.. oooh fok”
- “Suox, Socamax, folksie folks? some shit..”
- “Mmmmm right…. okay”
- “Whatever, think you bit, ahh you could have pulled that ahhh..you could, yeah” (something like this)
- “Shame knowing those ginger people who change things and blame, blame on someone else”
- “Koo poo wee wee”
- “Just a frenzy! it’s weird.. weird”
- “That’s really poor”
- “Good for a while”
- “Can’t remember now”
- “Continue to do the same thing”
Yes. Once again the recordings have piled up. Probably a good 10 days worth of recordings I have made but not gone through yet (not to mention what I’ve already heard and set to the side – which, from memory is very little but absolute manic gibberish).
I promise that on Thursday I will put off doing it until Friday.
I own http://www.richjones.com and will be posting some “expanatory notes” on the personality behind the voice. Should explain one or two things for those of you listening for a while. It will most likely be offensive as I do try to spare this sleep recording site of my virtriol. I have been dying to post bile many a time – fortunately logic has prevailed and I have been able to keep this site unpolluted.
Obviously this question comes up quite often. Unfortunately, recording your sleep talking isn’t exactly simple. I’ve not yet come to terms with a way to convey this challenge to the masses. To me, any guide that stipulates you need a $200 mic and preamplifier fails to achieve the stated goal (in this particular instance). But, for the sake of having something down on .. e-paper (yuck) I will quickly outline what you need.
You will need:
- A good microphone.
- Software to record.
Simple, right? Not so. Your microphone needs to produce a visible waveform in the recording software. For most, this will mean a preamplifier on the mic input. If you do not know what this is, ignore it and search for the mic that will do the job without. Why do you need a visible waveform? Are you going to listen to 8 hours of sleep in real time? I think not. You need the visual cue. Even if your mic does the job but is fairly quiet, it is likely you will not see any visible representation of sound in your recording program. You absolutely need this. It is only through experience of knowing that I have a filthy habit of sleep talking during aircraft flyovers that I found this gem. You will miss things if you are not able to see them. An aircraft flying over masks any speech.
Most mics you see in a department store cater for close range pickup. That is, for speaking into the mic. Unfortunately, the unconscious version of yourself will not play ball. All that tossing and turning bites you in the buttocks – we’re all scalliwags whilst sleeping. This means you need something that more than likely, costs more than $15 and is not purchased from a newspaper store inbetween a toffee shop and cobbler.
I can’t really help at the moment on this front, I’m experimenting with mics myself, trying to find something I can recommend. There is nothing more telling than getting in bed, placing the mic and then mumbling, whispering etc whilst test recording. Shame they don’t have test beds in stores. Disgraceful. If it is possible, steal the mic.
Anyway, that will do for now. On to the inanity. Pretty slim pickings all week until last night which I present in a separate player (Oct 4).
Sleeptalking – September 26-Oct 3
- “Between, Between, Next Wherever, When there is, weird spaces”
- Gibberish “Right in centre”
- “That wasn’t very good was it?”
- “Is it m__ of chioce? no”
- Amusing noise
- “Yeah I don’t know about that”
- Gibberish, “Nothing amazing”
Sleeptalking – October 4
- “Ooh don’t think they would go with that one, think we’re going to lose that one”
- “HmmmMMmm. I’m thinking, well yeah i mean great - but not going to happen
- (almost a neigh?)
- “That crap different, DIFFERENT”
Back again, probably a bit disappointing that it took an entire 3 weeks for an update. I know it pisses me off when people don’t update their sites frequently enough. In truth, if I heard something that blew my expectations I’d probably post a bit faster. Not to say today’s entry lacks any stupidity of course, just, I’ve come to expect the craziness.
Fantastic news: Some time in the near future I shall have some stuff by a “guest talker”. To set the scene for this: I live with my brother, not in a parents house situation – we just happen to share a house. On many occasions, very late at night, I have visited the ceramic throne to once again, relieve the proceeds of my soda water addiction. In that moment of excellent contemplation and with the silence that only can only occur late at night in a city, I am able to hear through the walls into my brother’s bedroom. Too many times, I have witnessed the (muffled) sound of unmistakable sleep talking occurring. Now, I ask myself this question, if I can witness sleep talk in the minute I spend near enough to hear, just *how much* is occurring? What is the content? Does it rival the strangeness of yours truly? Fascinating.
The excellent part about this whole affair is that he is very ardently denying that he sleep talks. Which sets the scene for a fantastic unveiling, here on the website. He has irrationally claimed that he must hear this talk first. Poppycock, let’s turn this into a mini-premiere!
The issue of sampling has come up. I don’t care if you sample this stuff. I don’t think it would fit my tastes for sampling stuff but I threw together something that probably summarises the vibe of my sleep talking (below). Since I don’t want to scare anybody, I had to remove just about all of the synth I had going because it started to sound awesomely menacing. I also felt like a bit of a tosser wasting time doing this when I should probably be working on legitimate music, rather than the ramblings of a madman so don’t blame me for the abrupt ending.
Finally, speaking of the ramblings of a madman. The owner of this cranium has an excellent blog that should be read and memorised. Truly a triumph of logic.
Alright, Karl Pilkington
Sleeptalking – 26 September
- A new and excitingly strange noise (seriously, this is me sleep”talking”)
- ”Put more pistol”
- Complete and utter gibberish.. “not doing too bad”
- “Oh my god, oh my god, really useful thing, friends .. really enjoyed those pictures they were great, supposed to be a little bit more than looked at pictures but.. oh well”
- Another noise “Did you just do a weed deal or you able to ahh whistle with your mouth?”
- “That thing that there are all over the place, every friday, every thursday, every fri, every thursday, (etc etc)”
- “Hello?” *shout* “You hear that?” (REALLY LOUD)
Many apologies for the stream of posts suggesting recording/posts were imminent. This is not true. I'm experiencing equipment difficulties that require cash to be thrown at the solution. Basically, due to bedroom / computer separation I need to have a (phantom powered) condenser connectected to a ~20m lead to the ...
Note: I have begun recording again. Unfortunately, the only thing I heard was "oh my god" which seems to be an exclamation regularly experienced. I feel I must deliver something original and since I'm not in control of this, I cannot guarantee timeframe (nor do you care). At times, it's a ...
I have moved house. This took several days to carry out and thus, definitively explains the lack of update. Back soon
Recording has its side benefits. Occasionally, it provides a post-mortem on other issues. This morning, for instance: Picture your loyal sleeper, dutifully onstage, dreaming his way through another wacky wonderland, when he decides to stretch out for a moment.. Unfortunately his "overclocked"* pedestal fan happens to be running quite hard and in the ...
Checked out the site this morning and it turns out that around 1600 visits have come my way today. http://www.metafilter.com/78832/I-hear-the-secrets-that-you-keep Hope you enjoy the foolishness. Furthermore, if you talk, perhaps you might be enthused to record yourself. I guarantee you, there's nothing quite like your own sleep talking. Many a morning I've found ...