A pattern of slackness forms
May 15th, 2008 - Comments hereAnother of my sporadic updates. Not many people listen to these files so it is definitely a labour of love, this website. Don’t get me wrong, - I love recording and hearing the results, I just do not love spending time sanitising the files so that you, the loyal, faithful listener can *just about* understand what I’m saying (with the aid of a transcript, of course).
That being said, I have no intentions to discontinue the updates.
Anyway, I keeps it reals and offer another batch of talking. I accidentally forgot to include the May 2 piece (not words, just a noise) in the big file so there are a couple. Note, in the second file (the big one) that is me actually gurgling a word. Never done that before (at least - in the time I’ve been recording).
Sleeptalking May 3-14, 2008
- “Well then you shouldn’t, dirtbag”
- *Gurgle* Something “More time”
- “Oohh oh oh you behind me? whos behind me? behind me? what?”
- Gibberish
- “Ohh thats nice, see that?, did you see that?”
- “Its a shame becuase i’m never gonna go , sick finish, i really did not deserve that sending, yeah well”
- “S-s-s-s-s stupid”
- “I kind of like it, quite fun, sometime, enjoy it, setup properly”
- “Ahhh ohhhh “
- “Make more sense now”
"Sleeptalking" - May 2, 2008: Play Now | Play in Popup Sleeptalking - May 3-14, 2008: Play Now | Play in PopupSlacker returns
May 2nd, 2008 - Comments hereLong time, no update. Still recording daily, though.
Consequently, its a bit of a giant update. A lot of shouting.
Sleeptalking April 9 - May 1, 2008
- “ooh oh uh NO”
- “don’t don’t”
- “so hoohh”
- gibberish “Wondering what the hell what is, is it for”
- giggle
- strange sound “oooohh dee aahhh good good ahh good ahh”
- “or something”
- “mm mm mm mm mm mm”
- “hold the windows then”
- “so so dough so everywhere. .everywhere” *sigh*
- snort “holy fuck “
- “hah lets go”
- “you mean freo gets the, no i thought you meant freo, nah, fourier sucks”
- no idea
- “hah hah, thats an interesting hand ahh point”
- “you guys should just have sex down the run there .. there this whole place would be solved”
- “oh come on thats plenty of words but they’re not exactly errr arranged properly
October 2007 - Part One
April 20th, 2008 - 1 CommentAh yes, this just happened to be a bit too golden for one post. Here is the first half of the archive post for October 2007.
Current talking is not exactly winning awards for derangement so I will hold back on posting what I have at the moment
Upon refreshing memory, current talk is actually quite funny, will post soon.
01/10/07 - Weiird... Nen Prodding Nen, Four frudding nen: Play Now | Play in Popup 03/10/07 - Special arear rolling, Krebada: Play Now | Play in Popup 04/10/07 - They're brilliant, those tits: Play Now | Play in Popup 06/10/07 - Cooooooooooohhh: Play Now | Play in Popup 07/10/07 - Oh my god, what the hell is going on here?: Play Now | Play in Popup 08/10/07 - Strike, Shoot. Might be a wise one.: Play Now | Play in Popup 09/10/07 - Some degree of pointsdenarts. Oohhhh yeahhhhh.: Play Now | Play in Popup 10/10/07 - Ten Ten Ten.. we made it (Look at date!): Play Now | Play in Popup 11/10/07 - Brown Paste in the car: Play Now | Play in Popup 12/10/07 - Everythings doing for you: Play Now | Play in Popup 14/10/07 - Strange Noise (accidental low quality mp3): Play Now | Play in PopupCongratulations Karl Pilkington, More Sleeptalk
April 10th, 2008 - 3 CommentsI am getting the October, 2007 archive post ready but it will take a while. So much funny stuff that month. Definitely a golden period of somniloquy. If you’re curious, check out a sample of the mania (and awesome obscenity) below. Before that.. Graham, if you’re out there, we miss you.
On to the recent sleep talking. Nothing particularly comical in terms of actual words though. I am sleep shouting in this recording.
Sleeptalking April 6-8, 2008
- “Ssss, avon soldier?”
- Completely different language
- “Mmmm.. I’m fine”
- “Watch the fires.. grass grow?”
- “Yeah.. ladiaaaaaa, oohhhhh, free”
One the greatest nights of idiocy…..
Sleeptalking October 19, 2007
- “Thats wight, just told me to call call, that you’re a strange things, things i don’t really know either, lets try it anyway!”
- “I appear to have accidentally on purpose really well kindof cool”
- “Ooohhh again again, again again, coo-ready, again, again”
- “Penis. Balls. Throat.”
Sleeptalking - April 6-8, 2008: Play Now | Play in Popup Sleeptalking - October 19, 2007: Play Now | Play in PopupMentally, I’m just not all there
April 6th, 2008 - Comments hereBefore I go any further, thank you, whoever you are for linking this site on Plime. It is nice to actually have people listening. If any of you have other sites you could link this site to, much appreciated if you do. Yes, it really does amuse me if hundreds of people hear my nonsense.
If you’re interested only in the sleep recording, scroll down a little, I’m going to talk about something before getting to the recording.
I received a suggestion regarding playing music/sound during sleep. In actual fact, I have experimented with this quite a lot. Not in terms of effects on sleep talk - rather, effect on dreams. More to the point, effect of keeping that possession dream to a minimum. As previously mentioned, Beelzebub does not attack without silence. Strange eh?
I started with music that I feel is very appropriate for sleeping. Namely stuff like Robert Rich/Lustmord - Stalker and Aphex Twin - Selected Ambient Works 2 (The first SAW is great but is more of a waking album). This seemed to have zero effect on the dreams that I could recall (an important distinction, truly, anything could have happened in the early stages). Both albums had me lying in bed for quite some time, listening rather than going to sleep, though.
Great music is more of a distraction. Bands such as Pink Floyd, Tool etc had a run and still nothing. So, I got a little experimental (loco for the purists) and for many nights fired up a lions share of the Cypress Hill discography. Now, we’re getting pretty “out there” but again, nothing particularly different about my dreams. Truly a wonderful experience waking up to Pigs, Guns and Weed, though. Wonderful themes for the morning.
Oh Dr Greenthumb, won’t you protect me from thy devil?
Anyway, the sleep recording for recent days.
During this period of sleep recording I had a dream where I murdered (stabbed, actually) a lot of people. These people were dangerous to the integrity of a secret I had (for the record, I have no memory of this skeleton in the closet). I stalked and killed something like 12 individuals in this dream and felt the true emotions of what it would be like to do it. Suffice to say it was pretty stuffed up. The guilt was particularly difficult to overcome. Killing them wasn’t particularly hard, though. Still, I have no memory of the bit where I have to clean up.
I apologise in advance - not a lot of stuff here is discernable but the final piece more than makes up for this. All I can say is.. did I possibly have a dream where I was experiencing retardation? Sounds like it.
March 31 - April 5 Sleeptalking
- Something about “phone”
- “stu on just that one just that on i know”
- “Hmmmmmm ok”
- Gibberish
- Mania
September 2007 - What a first month!
April 3rd, 2008 - Comments hereSince there are a lot of new listeners coming in at the moment, I thought I’d put my “best foot forward” and relink the first month of recordings. This is a “Greatest Hits of September, 2007″ and may or may not put your “WHY R U DOIN THIS LEWSER?” concerns to rest. It truly was a golden month. If you are interested to read commentary on these recordings, take a look at the post archive for this month. If you are interested in my psychological well being (I am under attack from pseudo-demons, remember), link the website elsewhere because when I say “new listeners” I’m lying, of course.
16/09/07 - Ride Bitch, pretty pretty pretty bitch.... bitch: Play Now | Play in Popup 18/09/07 - Helmet, Hermione, righteous indignation, pseudo intellectual nonsense: Play Now | Play in Popup 19/09/07 - Adelayee, demonic whispering, noises etc: Play Now | Play in Popup 20/09/07 - Abrupt statement: Play Now | Play in Popup 23/09/07 - Oooohhh yeah..: Play Now | Play in Popup 25/09/07 - Different oooh: Play Now | Play in Popup 26/09/07 - Tourettian Buttons, Chappelle show Rick James reference: Play Now | Play in Popup 30/09/07 - Keep doing it!: Play Now | Play in PopupCBD BCP? I’d rather PCP.
March 31st, 2008 - Comments hereWell..
Things have somewhat lulled again. I believe I have found my cure for sleep talking.
I’ve mentioned before that interaction, particularly in corporateland appears to have negative effects on my somniloquyian abilities. Recently, I was obligated to take another trip into the soul sucking vortex that is my city centre, a practice that regularly confounds me. I can never quite escape the sense of peripheral panic, as if I am trapped in a stark, gray box with a herd of well dressed, mindless, robotic Jehovah’s witnesses. No need to recruit, overexposure is tantamount to infection. Everywhere I look I see (feigned) acceptance - as if whittling away your days as a proud and ardent member of the Digital Marketing Team, located in Sector 7, Cubicle Quadrant 3 could be comprehensively excused by a terribly fulfilling nightly television regime.
There must be more to it than that, right?
This is the type of crap that you are obliged to accept as “wordly”?
With this in mind I have formulated theory. I call it “The Blowjobbian Compensation Principle“. Blowjobbian being a suitably effective metaphor for the concept of ultimate indulgence.
The theory goes a little something like this: To exist in the aforementioned reality, you must be experiencing regular tangible benefits. An alternative paycheck of debauchery for soulless services rendered. “Saints in light, heathens at night” if you like. This is Satan at work in the 21st century. Forget direct corruption, just suck the life out of them Monday to Friday such that their spare time will be spent “blowing off steam” in a typically hedonistic and (consequently) blasphemous manner.
Case in point, watch many of the diseased stream back into the CBD at night, intent on drugging themselves through the weekend so that Monday at the office can be endured, recovering, carrying out medial tasks, whilst secretly perusing the rather over exaggerated substance-induced, flowery “false memory”.
I could go on for endless hours with examples of BCP666 in action but I feel sure that having been exposed to BCP666 you are now able yourself to isolate and question whether blowjobbian compensation is for you. Debauchery can be yours at a far cheaper price.
I consider myself to be a defect of sorts, it disturbs me that integration into “the norm” reduces my ability to talk quality gibberish when asleep. As far as priorities go, I rank the ability to dispatch excellent unconscious nonsense right up there with oxygen. What a drag to have to navigate through several days of recovery. Once upon a time, I attempted to work in my local CBD. By day two, I felt sure that the virtually intravenous caffeine wave I was riding was destined to lead me into psychosis. Furthermore, I concluded that the very real impulse to crash my car into a capably homicidal pole was perhaps a not too subtle indication that I should swiftly admit defeat and live to fight another day. I quit.
This recording is not as impressive. I do apologise for venturing into the CBD - clearly as the days have progressed the episodes and audibility have increased but we are still a few days off acceptable derangement.
Still.. remarking on someone farting narrow is extremely insightful. In the final piece, it sounds as if I am enthusing people to hide. Love the staccato urgency of my delivery. “Get under there!” “quick!” (Some dynamics/authoritative tone lost in making sure that your speakers are safe from my drastic volume change when I begin to bark orders).
Evil lurks…
March 26th, 2008 - 8 CommentsOne of the more sinister reasons I began recording my sleep taking surrounds the strange dream I was periodically experiencing. When I say strange, what I really mean, is really, really, terrifying. I wanted to investigate whether there was any audible aspect.
For several years I have been unable to sleep without some ambient sound and light (a television is adequate). If, for instance, the television turned off during the night due to power outage - or perhaps playlisted music/video finished, I have a problem. A dark, silent room is a very strong trigger for my particular issue.
The process is this: I am forced awake by an incredible pressure as if something is attempting to “possess” me. By awake, I mean I am no longer dreaming and am fully aware that I am in my bedroom. I feel as if something is attempting to enter my skin and I am obliged to “fight” this. Whilst crude, the best way I can describe this force is that it is perceptively at least as strong as you would experience if you asked someone to squash you against a wall. The experience is entirely physical in terms of “outside influence”. No “Hey Pal, let me in” I’m afraid.
Even worse, at this point I am paralysed, I cannot move or open my eyes. During the fight, I am essentially both fighting the possession and attempting to move. When I overcome the sleep paralysis (10-30seconds) the “attack” is over. If I go back to sleep straight away, I will suffer another attack. I need to spend a little while before reentering sleep, during this time making sure that some sound is now playing. If the sound is too low, the attack will come again.
This has happened enough times that I am no longer horrified during this experience, whilst it will always have incredibly menacing overtones I am extremely fast to realise what is happening, resist until I can move and the situation defuses.
Pretty stuffed up yes yes?
I believe that this is stress related and I suspect the issue causing it, having defused, means that I probably won’t experience it now. I’ve yet to have the guts to extensively test this theory. I no longer sleep with sound playing (my first sleep recordings were done with the sound going which made the recordings cumbersome to go through) but the television produces a screensaver effect that gives off a decent amount of light. I can confirm, having experienced the possession dream during a night of recording - there is no audible sound accompanying the experience.
Anyway, I draw no concrete conclusions about the existence of Jesus or anything like that from this. I think it is probably nothing more than some sort of nightmare accompanying sleep paralysis. I’m sure that is what most of you will deduce from my explanation. Those of you who have a Christian/Catholic faith: kindly note that whilst I am under attack, I have not relented yet.
Hey buddy, if you want my soul, just let me win the lottery!
Here is my recording from the last two days. In this recording I have made a sound that will do nothing for my denial of connections to Beezlebub. If you’re wondering why it sounds “glitched”, I had to take measures to spare you the bit before my strange sound where I hit the microphone (something that I do three or four times a night).
March 24-25 Sleeptalking
- “Oooh really really big warr? really big i guess have a look at this”
- Demon Yawn
- Snore, ooahh, yep, “medioken”?
Ramping back up to Crazytown
March 24th, 2008 - Comments hereMy previous entry noted the fact that as the madness sets in the talking seems to increase and this entry will do nothing to disprove this theory. Last night was particularly manic with plenty of wonderful garbled inanity. It is definitely a good night when I hit 4 solid outbursts. Since the lowpoint last week, I have gradually ramped up in “quality moments”.
Another fact to note is the difference in personality when I am asleep. Awake, I’m more than a bit of bastard. Asleep, I seem to lose that edge and come off as a complete gimplord. It doesn’t help that I am highpassing the files to remove excess noise as this also strips all the “manliness” from my terribly deep, seductively husky voice. Mostly though, emotions run more freely in the dream state and you may not be subject to much of your everyday persona. Just another regular symptom of an altered perception.
March 21-23rd Sleeptalking
- “Just take what you want hah”
- “Ooh yes oh yes….oh yes wrestling with I laylas in there”
- “Back in take it in”
- “Require another.. anything by recording device”
- “You’ll never find it”
- gibberish flitterole?
- “Heartness happening, whats happening, whats happening? you go on forever and discuss things you tell me….. there’s something on the top of your head right at the top, top crown”
- “Over tualian”
Searching for that sleeptalk cure?
March 21st, 2008 - Comments hereI’ve been a bit of a hoarder lately - Waiting for a while until the update is substantial enough to release. I’ll change that soon as I’d rather post more frequently.
Considering the quality of my last two pieces, I think this one isn’t quite as good but still has some undeniably strange moments. In the last 7 days of recording, I have suffered three nights without talking. I don’t have much of a theory for why (previous weeks I have consistently talked every night). I had more social contact than normal at the time the talking disappeared so perhaps this is a factor. Whilst I am not convinced it is possible to define a “cure” for sleep talking, there may be individual personal triggers that could be identified. Of course, in my case, we’re after the exact opposite effect.
This brings me to an idea: What if I talk to nobody for an entire day? Will this effect my talking?
Enjoy.
March 14-20th Sleeptalking
- “Bullshit” (or “Buwshi”)
- “mmmFuk”
- “in-to-king”
- Noises, some sort of dialect based on grunting?
- “Whats this…” gibberish thereafter
- “What the hell are we watching now?”
- “Oh woah”
- “Woah”
Lights, Camera, Grainy Blur!
March 14th, 2008 - 3 CommentsI’m back.
I was never gone. I do have a reason for my lack of updates, though. I’ve actually been holding back sleep recordings as I experiment with my new tool: A $4 nightvision webcam.
See, I figure, I must have a pretty stupid expression on my face when I’m doing some of this talking and I’d like to know more about that. I’ll admit - in my mind, I was going to capture a most triumphant video of me talking on the first night of recording.
Unfortunately, things have been a little more difficult. With audio, I was already knowledgeable on this subject (and certainly not daring to use $4 gear to record it). Video - I’m a novice. Worst still, my talent - the “big star” is extremely elusive individual indeed. Trying to keep the cat in frame is difficult. He doesn’t really like sleeping with the lights on but the night vision isn’t cutting it. The software I’m using continues to backstab me and of course, this is all secondary to the main gripe - the camera is potentially not “subtle” enough to pick up facial quirks.
Translation: Not quite there yet.
I was hoping to reveal video when I had something to show for it, but I guess I’m looking for the “ur crazy lol” accolades as soon as possible, so you’ll have to take my word for it for the moment. It is becoming increasingly difficult to deny derangement when you have two computers recording you (one for high quality audio, one for video/low qual audio) whilst you sleep. I have also researched purchasing a USB EEG. Sleeping with one of those stylish electrode caps would be a definite challenge.
This recording is an amalgamated highlights package of the week in review. No singing, plenty of pompous “speed addict” style comments from yours truly. Oh, and whoever is coming from a Blackboard based website: Please satisfy my curiosity… I’m not being studied as a some sort of archetype example of sociopath for your tertiary course am I?
March 6-13th Sleeptalking
- “There’s all these things, these things……. What are they?”
- “Just got into it, got into it… as i could really, sort of like do, was no good at it”
- “I just like, its just like, its a strange thing, almost periodic, plates everywhere these plates are, they are just everywhere, its weird”
- “Mediay?”
- “Hahm that was hilarious thats an idea, a good idea, its pretty quite smart actually - quite smart”
- “Oh yeah no doubt, no doubt, yep, was that that thing back then?”
- I don’t know
Yesterday was a difficult day
March 6th, 2008 - 5 CommentsMany “experts” have contended that sleep talking is some sort of manifestation of stress in ones life. I personally have been unable to find any consistent true indicator, cure or control for my own talking (not that I’d ever want to stop). Basically, over the last 5 months or so I have determined that for me personally, there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of method to the madness. I can never be prepared for what is coming.
But… yesterday was a difficult day. A few things irritated me and I went to bed agitated (which is rarely the case) and (perhaps) coincidentally, I appear to have put on a bit of a show last night.
Now, I don’t know whether it was because of my discussion on sleep singing in the last entry, but I appear to have done it again in the second piece of talking. It is hard to say what this exactly is. Its a sort of a rendition of rhythmic language that is slightly musical. As has been common lately, I’m talking in a made up dialect. Please note, I will emphasise this again, I speak English only.
If that wasn’t enough I let rip with some excellently loud madman shouting. Unfortunately, I can’t go putting up the recording in its original form because you’d all turn your volume up to hear the first pieces and then get blown away by the shouting. As can be seen below, the fourth piece of talking is comparatively large. That is seriously loud.
Kind of loud, yes yes?
There doesn’t seem much point in trying to translate anything in this recording. In the third piece I mention something regarding “frequency” but that is about all I can really discern. As always, click the play button to begin. Beware: Even controlling the volume of the fourth piece, it is still vastly louder than the other three.
Sleep Humming
March 4th, 2008 - Comments here2 minutes of talking for you to listen to. A large amount is sheer gibberish. I can’t remember talking so much unintelligible rubbish as I have over the last few days. Not that it isn’t amusing, speaking a completely different language has its amusing moments. The final item is something I have never caught a recording of - myself, sleep humming. Regular listeners (all 1 of you) may remember a particular humorous little ditty entitled “Spigoo” composed and delivered unconsciously some time ago.
For new listeners, here is the aforementioned recording from November. In my opinion, this may be most insane recording I have taken. Translation for the new recording is below.
Sleep Singing - Nov 28, 2007: Play Now | Play in Popup Sleep Talking - Feb 25-Mar 3, 2008: Play Now | Play in PopupSleep Talking 25th Feb - 3rd March, 2008
- “Ready? hey wow, yeah interesting”
- nonsense “Should be alright, alright”
- “Hey hey whats this?” nonsense
- nonsense “Fat one”
- “Do you know how to fight right?”
- “Hi mike, hi mike way to late, splishes, awake” gibberish
- nonsense “Really awesome, very impressive”
- snore “Still subjective i think”
- Sleep Humming
Quick sound effect recording
February 26th, 2008 - Comments hereOk, I failed to record on the 24th and this was the only piece of “sleeptalk” from last night.
Please note: This is not a yawn.
If you’ve ever seen the telephone prank call show “Fonejacker” you would probably agree that the sound I made is incredibly similar to the type of sound you get when a human attempts to emulate a “You may now speak/enter numbers” computer tone.
Murderous Intent
February 24th, 2008 - Comments hereMore inanity from the mouth of yours truly.
On account of “too much text and not enough pretty picture” syndrome leaking in. Here is an image I find to be amusing.
Feb 19-23 Sleep Talking
- “Heheh mmmmm”
- A noise and no idea on ensuing nonsense
- “Bloody great Michael, gotta wack Michael now, my brother… hah”
- “House is crazy, house crazy, just so slowly weird”
- “Weird oooohhhh that what look like”
- “Do you want.. ?”
- “Interesting, interesting, something something?, interesting”
- “Lick it lick it pure gibberish haha”
- “Haha errrr right”
- “You really losing there and he says to me. Bad stuff - i think it going to be pretty blown away. Not want anything to do with it”
Slacker returns
Long time, no update. Still recording daily, though. Consequently, its a bit of a giant update. A lot of shouting. Sleeptalking April 9 - May 1, 2008 "ooh oh uh NO" "don't don't" "so hoohh" gibberish "Wondering what the hell what is, is it for" giggle strange sound "oooohh dee aahhh good good ahh good ahh" "or ...
October 2007 - Part One
Ah yes, this just happened to be a bit too golden for one post. Here is the first half of the archive post for October 2007. Current talking is not exactly winning awards for derangement so I will hold back on posting what I have at the moment Upon refreshing memory, ...
Congratulations Karl Pilkington, More Sleeptalk
I am getting the October, 2007 archive post ready but it will take a while. So much funny stuff that month. Definitely a golden period of somniloquy. If you're curious, check out a sample of the mania (and awesome obscenity) below. Before that.. Graham, if you're ...
Mentally, I’m just not all there
Before I go any further, thank you, whoever you are for linking this site on Plime. It is nice to actually have people listening. If any of you have other sites you could link this site to, much appreciated if you do. Yes, it really does ...
September 2007 - What a first month!
Since there are a lot of new listeners coming in at the moment, I thought I'd put my "best foot forward" and relink the first month of recordings. This is a "Greatest Hits of September, 2007" and may or may not put your "WHY R U DOIN THIS LEWSER?" ...
