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At times, it’s a little embarrassing having a “blog”.  Or two, in my case.   That being said, there are several hidden benefits.

One particularly bonus, one that is probably more applicable to strange premised blogs is “incoming search terms”.  That is, the search phrase that brought you to my particular corner of the internation.

Whilst I have not updated this blog in some time, it still gets residual hittage on some seriously strange subjects.  This one takes some cake.  Not all of it, but, gee, really?

Nice

Clicking further…

http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=my+boyfriend+my+brother+should+i+be+worried&hl=en&rlz=1C1CHMF_en-GB___GB319&start=30&sa=N

What really disappoints me is the fact that truly, I don’t fulfill the terms of the search.  Here we have some poor misguided individual, looking for help and I have failed to inform.

So, in event that you should return, my friend, or anybody else.  On the subject of whether you should worry if your boyfriend is your brother…

FUCK NO.  BANG ON!

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Back soon

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This morning, for instance:

Picture your loyal sleeper, dutifully onstage, dreaming his way through another wacky wonderland, when he decides to stretch out for a moment..

Unfortunately his “overclocked”* pedestal fan happens to be running quite hard and in the path of aforementioned stretch.

Bang!.  Big toe slashed!

Of course, being the manly man I am, I wake up and merely stared at the throbbing big toe, waiting for it to finish bleeding before going back to sleep, making a mental note to try to preserve the blood until the morning, when I can proudly show off my warwound.

Naturally, I hit a couple of front double biceps poses (in case any ghosts were watching this undignified act) and retire back to what ever nonsense is currently being entertained in the cranial cavity.

Warning.  Be nice to those speakers, this is uncompressed  for recreation of the wonderful surprise it was to me.

* - By overclocked, I mean, no guard.  Try it - they blow harder (ar ar).

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http://www.metafilter.com/78832/I-hear-the-secrets-that-you-keep

Hope you enjoy the foolishness.

Furthermore, if you talk, perhaps you might be enthused to record yourself.  I guarantee you, there’s nothing quite like your own sleep talking.  Many a morning I’ve found myself loudly cackling away at something that in reality, nobody but the performer could possibly fully appreciate.

(Some interesting comments on that page, unfortunately, it will cost me $5 to engage in that discussion and hence, I’m going to have to withdraw the enthusiasm.  If anybody wishes to talk, post here and I’ll be sure to respond).

Oh, and finally, whoever came here via the search phrase “what to if you’ve only got a little bit of weed left“.  Special shout out to you brother, taking it to the search engine.   Sorry I couldn’t help.  I really can’t, marijuana was not kind to me.  However, I do have some commentary:  Having known people who were quite adept at “what to do if you’ve only got burnt remnants of marijuana encrusted upon your smoking apparatus left“, I can assure you that the rabbit hole does go a tad bit deeper.

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(http://www.sleepeducation.com/Disorder.aspx?id=16)

That is good advice, but I tend to disagree with the final point.  Even in moments where I have discovered myself emotionally babbling dramatics (with lashings of vulgarity), I retain the sense that it is completely a function of experiencing a drugged state.

I can’t envision any link between voracity and other disorders.  Unless,  of course, you’re talking about the “Dr Sleep Specialist has to put food on his table” disorder.

If you talk and you don’t want to, all you can do is record yourself and try to pay attention to factors.   I think it likely that there are very few people in this world who have any sort of expertise on this subject.  Mostly, all you ever read is that it is a function of stress. I can tell you right now, for me, stress has nothing to do with it.  My talking is as far as I can tell, absolutely random.  There may be a psychological connection somewhere, that is true, but it is buried under so much stimulus it is doubtful I shall ever get a handle on it.

Not that I want to, of course.  I’m far too entertained by the end result.

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Sleeptalk - 23-30 January, 2009

• “Oh can you, just you, scranton, you’ll break it, bry things it’ll fall off it, we’ve got them in stock.”
• “Lubzen going and alsa things, screaming? *kiss sound*, the lubz are going, you’ve always got a chance.”
• “They heard the name”
• “Yeah right, look at that, walk around, bullshit”

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Sleeptalking - “Regular” Pieces

• “Ohh yeah”
• “Here’s my theory about me being try cooler … “
• “Dophin.  I’m sort of saying dolphin”
• “Ahhh his, no doubt about it”
• “Ah. Wha?  HELLO!”  *giggle*
• “The room thing?  The room thing? the robot thing that you said? what? ahhh i see, ahh”
• “Ohhh… atleast over a hundred then, so probably close to, closer to 115 at least, ummm, 12?”
• (Start of a tune) “I’m doing it!”
• “Cheeky bastard, cheap bitch”
• “Oh macrony, you’re so rancid though, so crony, old crony”
• “The omelette, ohhhh ahhhhhh”
• “Fasssshion, is it just me or you … big titch?  Shit, i can fuk her?” (English pronounciation at end?)

Sleeptalking - Sounds and Gibberish

Mostly self explanatory or hard to make out.  At 0:53: “Did he fuuuukkk… ho ho hey”.

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Each recording I make, for one night, is over 2 gigs in size.  I record in fairly high quality, probably above what I should.

To process this file, I make changes to a copy of that file and use it as a guide to find audible sounds.  I keep the original so I don’t have a wrecked recording (making filter changes to this point does infact wreck it).

So now, every night costs 4 gigs of working space.

Fast forward to 3 months of not processing the files and yes, that’s right, the total size of the files is up towards the 180 gig mark - and I haven’t even made that crucial copy to process them.  So, inevitably, I got through a few and then the whole situation got out of control.

I knew it’d come down to buying another drive and that has occurred today.  So, finally, I can say with some certainty that I now actually have the space to deal with all the recordings.

All this could have been saved by processing regularly.  Hopefully there is some magic in them, as this generally reignites my enthusiasm.

The good news is that the traffic here actually stays the same no matter what I do.  A dangerous thing to occur for a slacker such as myself.

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Who am I kidding?  Lucifer probably wrote their lyrics.

The more ambient noise there is, the harder it is to zero in on sleep talking (ideally you only want the sounds of you talking being picked up by the mic).  I’m sure if you’re a regular listener you’ve heard the birds crowing and so forth.  Plenty of false positives.  I can pick a fart no problems - I always seem to do three in a row.

I do post on my more regular domain but I don’t suggest you go there unless you’re particularly entertained by vulgar childishness, which is something I’m indulging myself in quite considerably, right now.  You have been warned.

Update 4th January

I do appear to have been inaccurate with my timetable.  Right now, the amount of recorded files is so large, I’m having trouble managing the size of them in order to not fill the drive whilst processing them.  Working on it.  Hope to get it done today, if possible, if only for the reason that I cannot record until they are done.

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